ASTRONAUT Tim Peake has been warned about a free-roaming poop in the weightlessness of the International Space Station.
He was part of a crew tasked with “keeping an eye out” for the missing swimmer.
The job would have suited Flush Gordon and there was a fear of Klingons on the starboard bow.
But the Rogue One proved to be a phantom threat as no one ever made contact.
Maj Peake – the first Briton to enter the station in 2015 – said: “There was a crew member, who we won’t name, who finished his business one morning, turned around and couldn’t find any evidence anywhere.”
“The embarrassment of having to tell your teammates to pay attention…” . . They never found it either.”
The suspects included 60-year-old American Colonel Tim Kopra and 61-year-old Russian Colonel Yuri Malenchenko.
And no doubt there were jokes about the problem posed by Uranus.
Tim, 51, told the Your Place or Mine podcast that going to the toilet is “all about a fan – when you turn the fan on, the airflow makes everything go in the right direction.”
Hopefully the Space Oddity has been resolved by now – possibly with the help of a Moonraker.